Good Enough

When I was a baby, Dr. Spock was all the rage. Since then there have been all kinds of "experts" claiming to have the best parenting methods ranging from Dr. Ferber and his method of "crying it out" sleep training (also known as "ferberizing") to Dr. Sears' theories on Attachment Parenting.

With Liliana I think I followed more of an attachment method - she was literally attached to me most of the time. I look back on those days as idyllic. One Mommy, one child. A great ratio. Don't get me wrong, parenting even one child is a lot of work, and can be the first experience adults have with truly putting someone else's needs ahead of their own. (Parenthood is much like the call of Christianity - you die to yourself to find true life.) Lili's needs always came first. The introduction of the triplets to our family has been a challenge to everyone. Everything considered, Liliana has done a remarkable job adjusting and finding pride and purpose in her role as the "Big Sister" She has also done well accepting my new parenting method. I like to call it, "Good Enough."

I still have standards, but so many things I do in my day I find myself saying, "good enough", since it is truly the best I can do. My kids won't be little forever, and while there are things that need to be accomplished in my day, I also need to find time to hold them and read to them, and show each one of them that they are loved.

I've found out that it is okay not to bathe your kids every night. They get fresh jammies. That's good enough. Quickly combing their hair with my fingers and "washing" a bit of breakfast off their faces with my saliva is good enough. Brushing teeth once a day, good enough. Sippy cups are not proprietary. Two is often good enough for three babies.

This new method applies to my home as well. Clothes get washed clean but most end up heaped in a pile. Finding what you need can take some time, but you can always appeal to St. Anthony. I often do. Good enough. If I want to get Liliana to school on time, I cannot take the time to clean up in the morning before we leave. The kids are fed and dressed. I can clean it up before lunch when we get home - good enough.

My own personal hygiene habits have changed as well. Never before have I felt able to leave the house before showering and styling my hair. I've taken to showering at night most days, and going to bed with wet hair. Once my hair got used to this routine I noticed that I really do have natural curl. I wake up with BIG hair. Most of my life I've been envious of those with naturally curly hair, so this is kind of cool. I'm still figuring out how to go from crazy, puffy hair to something mildly attractive. But for now, it is good enough.