I am continually plagued by a strong sense of inadequacy. I am only one Mommy and I do my best.
Joe had kept me up until 4:30 a.m. when he finally fell asleep on me on the couch. We were up by 6:30 a.m. Two hours of sleep is just enough to make you feel really cruddy. He was feeling so bad he just wanted me to hold him. He had a fever, and so did Faith. With Jim's help I got 40 minutes of breathing treatments done, kids dressed and reasonably fed, and loaded in the car by 9:00 for a doctor's appt. That sounds like a lot, but it is even more than you can imagine. Joe and Faith screamed any moment they were out of my arms.
It was a loud, stressful exit, but we made it to the office on time. Incredible since there was a detour on our usual route and I rode around like a crazy Mommy trying to figure out how to get onto Rte. 108.
Michelle met me there and helped keep the kids from completely melting down while corralled in a small exam room made even smaller by the triple stroller. I was NOT going to let them play in the play area and bring home yet another illness. I don't know what I'd have done without Michelle.
The nurse practitioner seemed to think Joe was okay and perhaps had a tummy bug. (I doubted this, but he is already on a strong antibiotic so I didn't argue.) Faith's lungs are still junky, but she didn't want to order a chest x-ray unless her fever spiked. However, she took an accurate "nudie" weight, I think because they suspect she might develop pneumonia and they wanted to monitor any weight changes. Lovely.
Back at home all four kids threw tantrums about wanting to play outside. My nerves were completely shot and I just didn't feel like we could keep them from running in the road. So, we tried letting them loose on the back deck. That deck is pretty small for four kids. Joe's favorite deck activity is throwing toys over the side, and his second favorite is mimicking his big sister by trying to climb over the side.
Because I was scheduled to sing a Mass in the afternoon I desperately wanted a shower, so we decided to make the kids come in (lots of tantrums) so Michelle could watch them while I showered.
Once the kids were fed and medicated (two more breathing treatments) I put them down for a nap. Faith tried her best but she just couldn't settle. Thank the Lord my second shift soon arrived (Margie and Dee) and Faith was very happy to play with Dee and eventually fell asleep on her. Margie was great with Lili.
I guess I've been a little grouchy lately because Lili enjoyed having Margie here so much that she said to her, "Margie, I wish you were my Mommy."
ouch.
The Mass was interesting. It was to celebrate the jubilee 50th anniversary of a local retired priest. I didn't know what to expect. I thought there would be members of the priests' family there, but it was ten priests, one server, two alter servers (and their father), a lector, the organist, and me. A very nice surprise was that Fr. Von was among those attending. At first I was a little nervous to sing for a group of priests. They know liturgy. They've heard a lot of liturgical music. They would definitely notice any errors I made. Thankfully things went well, and I enjoyed having such a small group really sing along (nice to hear your harmonies again Fr. Von!) I only wish I hadn't worn such painful shoes.
After the Mass I rushed over to visit my Dad in the hospital (another reason I'm a little on edge). He looks great and will hopefully be home soon. Apparently it was only a slight case of pneumonia.
Back at home everyone woke up cranky, and Eve was the only child not running a fever at this point. She managed to make her own trouble by wiggling out of her chair at dinner and falling on the floor.
At this point I'm really feeling the sleep deprivation. I actually fell asleep while saying bedtime prayers with Lili. I think I was in the middle of The Lord's Prayer when I realized I had slurred my words into nonsense. Yikes.
Jim sent me up to the shower and bed around 11:00, but it just wasn't meant to be. By 1:30 when I'd been asleep for only two hours I realized all heck had broken loose. Faith AND Joe were up, and Jim had obviously not even been to bed yet. Both kids were screaming for me. I stumbled down the stairs, my head splitting open, and quickly administered Motrin to both kids. Jim eventually got Faith down, but Joe was not going to let me go. Then Lili woke up to come and sleep with us. Finding me on the couch my fate was sealed. I spent another night on the couch, this time with two kids. We ended up in this amazing configuration that reminded me of an Olympic bobsled team; Joe between my legs, Lili between Joe's legs. I still can't believe Joe didn't kick Lili in the head.
Not a good day,.....and yet,.....my little cuties always seem to put a smile on my face.
Faith (wearing Lili's boots) has a giggle with Eve.
Pig Pile on Daddy
Tada!
Who is that masked toddler?!?! 
2 comments:
Maybe you didn't fall asleep during the lord's prayer. Maybe you were speaking in tongues. Hope today is going better for you!
I was amazed at how well you held up that week, Lauren and Jim. It was truely inspirational, I would have cracked up for sure. I hope that you are getting more sleep now.
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